I Remember


I Remember

I remember that day
I remember it well
I was three years old
And you were only a month
People don’t understand why I miss you
Because in years I wasn’t that much

You died in my arms
A slow but painless death

The man wasn’t there
I was alone with my mom

We stood in the street
Waiting for someone to come
A stranger to be a savior
Or simply our ride to the hospital
The man wasn’t there
But a stranger was

I couldn’t cry
I had to be strong
For her-
For the dying child
And for my mom
I had to be strong for my mom
Because…
The man wasn’t there
I was alone with my mom

Through the doors we walked
Mom had some hope
But mine was lost

I was three years old
But I knew a month couldn’t bleed so much
And survive
That little creature was drained
And I knew
She was leaving us…

The man wasn’t there
I was alone with my mom

But then…
Then he came back
Mom needed a hug
Some kindness
Nothing more
Instead,
You showed her cruelty
Her heart swelled and her limbs were sore

I was three years old
In years, I wasn’t that much

But I remember every blue and every black
Every red and every loud
Cry my mom uttered
From a cruelty you chose to have

I was three years old
In years, I wasn’t that much

And I prayed for us to go back to that day

When the man wasn’t there
And I was alone with my mom…

Published by Nour Al-Hajj

I’m 25, and I live in Lebanon. I’m an Interior Architect graduate with a minor in English. My hair is always a different color. I love cheese with some extra cheese. The gym is my natural habitat, and my car hosts the best concerts you'll ever attend. I love writing poetry, thoughts, and stories. My inspiration comes from my childhood memories, heartbreaks, and sometimes I like to imagine certain scenarios that are completely fictional or write a different ending to something that happened with me. It's like wishful thinking...

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