December 13

I hope I do this justice…

I was still a kid back then, back when you turned my world upside down.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I can’t explain how safe I felt that first night I slept in your arms. From the day I was born and until that moment, I rarely felt this safe… but you made it my reality, not a rarity.

I still remember the butterflies in my stomach when you kissed me for the first time. I remember so many details you’d think I’m a creep, but I guess a part of me knew that our moments together weren’t something I should forget anytime soon. Part of me knew that I would fall deeply in love with you. It was the first time I kept you a secret from everyone, even the people closest to me. I didn’t want anyone crashing into my bubble of happiness.

And 3 years later, that’s still the reality. You are my bubble of happiness, and I cherish every high as much as I cherish every low because it taught me something about myself, about you, and about us. I know I can be stubborn, but I’m learning more and more every day to keep my guard down with you, even when we argue, even when I’m right, and even when I’m wrong because you are not someone who is trying to hurt me. You are simply fighting for me, and I’m sorry that I forget that sometimes.

Even after reading so many novels, I still didn’t understand the meaning of “he makes me a better person” until I spent these years with you. You’ve opened my eyes to so many things, and you’ve made me stronger and braver than I ever was. You’ve taught me how to truly love someone fully and unconditionally.

Maybe this is me giving you reassurance because I know I can get blinded sometimes by my needs and past pains that swallow me whole. I sometimes forget… I forget that you need reassurance too. I forget that you need to be loved and heard too. I can’t promise you I won’t make that mistake again because I’m only human, but I promise you that I’ll try not to.

I’m writing this with tears in my eyes… it’s overwhelming sometimes how much I love you…

Thank you for dancing with me to Taylor Swift’s song. Thank you for being the first person to buy me flowers. Thank you for giving me your shirt to sleep in. Thank you for going with me to my first concert. Thank you for being selfless when I was selfish. Thank you for being your goofy self around me. Thank you for holding my hand and keeping it warm. Thank you for being worried about me. Thank you for including me in your family. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being honest and righteous. Thank you for fighting for me. Thank you for taking care of me.

And thank you for loving me.

Nel tuo sguardo crescerò,
Mi baci piano ed io torno ad esistere…

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