I Remember


I Remember

I remember that day
I remember it well
I was three years old
And you were only a month
People don’t understand why I miss you
Because in years I wasn’t that much

You died in my arms
A slow but painless death

The man wasn’t there
I was alone with my mom

We stood in the street
Waiting for someone to come
A stranger to be a savior
Or simply our ride to the hospital
The man wasn’t there
But a stranger was

I couldn’t cry
I had to be strong
For her-
For the dying child
And for my mom
I had to be strong for my mom
Because…
The man wasn’t there
I was alone with my mom

Through the doors we walked
Mom had some hope
But mine was lost

I was three years old
But I knew a month couldn’t bleed so much
And survive
That little creature was drained
And I knew
She was leaving us…

The man wasn’t there
I was alone with my mom

But then…
Then he came back
Mom needed a hug
Some kindness
Nothing more
Instead,
You showed her cruelty
Her heart swelled and her limbs were sore

I was three years old
In years, I wasn’t that much

But I remember every blue and every black
Every red and every loud
Cry my mom uttered
From a cruelty you chose to have

I was three years old
In years, I wasn’t that much

And I prayed for us to go back to that day

When the man wasn’t there
And I was alone with my mom…

The Island


The Island

A shipwreck led me to this deserted island
The travelers-
Well, they all found a way out
But I’m still here
And I’ve been here for more than 462 sunsets-
It’s a shame I only see the sunsets

The thing about loneliness is that
It’s not about how many hearts surround you
But rather having a single heart beat for you
Now that’s enough
It’s enough to get me off this island

I need another’s heart
Another’s arms
Another’s eyes and lips
And touch

Just one touch
And I’ll leave this island behind

The Weakness of Our Mind


The Weakness of Our Mind

I only have a few photos from my childhood
The rest are ashes now
They were destroyed along with our house
And my favorite chair

1996…
I don’t know why I feel shocked sometimes
Maybe I believe in the good nature of the human kind
A nature that ceased to exist
I used to believe-
I always believed…
Then they destroyed the only doll I had
And that’s when I stopped believing

2006…
It’s been nine years now
But the decapitated children-
The “collateral damage”-
Are still ashes
Buried and forgotten

2015…
I’m beyond that stage where my eyes-
The once innocent eyes-
Only see love and kindness
The reality is the only thing I see now
The hatred, the greed, the bullshit!
The bullshit they try to sell us
And fill our heads with

That’s why we’re killing each other
An agreement between our “leaders”
They want us to finish each other off
They want us to become slaves and robots to be controlled

I wish people would just stop and look…

It’s not about our religion
Not about our differences
It’s the weakness of our mind that allows their words-
Their lies to seep inside and entangle with our thoughts

2020…
So,
When are we going to stop it?

Deep Enough


Deep Enough

I never did expect them to come back. I thought I buried them deep enough that I knew they would never haunt me again. I never saw them coming.

I’m talking about the emotional shit I carried with me since I was a kid. I reached an age where I decided to ignore it. Get rid of it by burying it deep enough. I put on a happy face throughout my teens. Others believed me. I believed me. I believed me for so long.

Then I grew up. I really grew up, which brings us to now. That happy face has become a reflex. I carry it wherever I go.

But, then, then the night comes, and the happy face has no place there. I thought my baggage was gone. I thought I got rid of it years ago.

And that’s when it hits me and I cry. I shed tears with the shudders of my body. I tremble from within as my emotions resurface and I feel again. I feel everything and remember everything.

I thought I buried them deep enough, but I never thought they’d find their way out. They’re breathing now while suffocating me. Their hands on my throat. They’re screaming in my face telling me to feel them. They want to be acknowledged.

I close my eyes and let them all out. I cry fifteen years of tears and ignorance.

I thought I buried them deep enough, and I did. I just forgot to close the casket.