Just a Hug


Sometimes you feel like a million miles away… untouchable, unreachable.

Sometimes I wish that you’d close that distance and hold me close… just like that.

It’s really simple.

To put it in simpler terms… I’m fucking pissed!

I felt unacknowledged, and not important enough.

I said that I’m tired, and all I wanted was to end my day in your arms and escape to a new venture in our dreamland.

But instead, I waited.

I kept waiting.

I waited.

I waited some more and gave myself a distraction in the form of a mystical liquid that cleansed my nerves and peeled away their covers to make them more fragile and sensitive.

And then I was back in your radar, but I was on the outer circle, weakly beeping on the screen, but not strong enough for you to be able to close that distance as simple as it was before.

A hug wasn’t going to fix this.

Before, it would have.

Before, all I needed was just a hug.

Nothing else mattered when my being was intertwined with yours.

But now, I’m too out of reach to be intertwined with you.

I’m too far gone to be kept around.

Now, I need more.

Yes, I am


I think I forgot how to write…

I don’t know which words I want to get out of my system… I don’t know which words really describe how I’m feeling or what it is that I’m feeling. I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling, even when you ask me, “What’s wrong?

I really hate that question.

I finally admitted to myself that I’m depressed, and that’s okay. It felt out of character for my happy soul to acknowledge the darkness taking over it, but I did it, and that was the first step to overcoming this dreaded feeling.

The whys and hows are still a mystery to me… is it someone that drove me to this feeling? Is it a home? Is it a friend?

I have no clue. All I know is that I’ll take better care of myself, and accept my feelings rather than deny them and turn my back on them. They deserve better.

I deserve better.

I’m True


I'm True

The thing about romance and love… Well, let’s just say it’s some weird shit. Would you think that one day, you might actually fall in love with a voice?

I heard your voice for two weeks, and you drew me in with just that. I was too shy to turn and face you, to discover the face with the mouth that uttered a splendor.

You weren’t serenading or speaking poetically, it was simply your voice. My body and my brain interpreted it as one of my favorite songs.

It seeped under my skin and found its way to a locked chest in which I’ve buried my emotions…

Days and days later…. coincidence revealed your face. It’s not that you have extraordinary beauty, but to me, the beauty I saw was enough.

Maybe it’s because I’m a hopeless romantic that I fall for someone so easily, or maybe it’s because of you.

I just wish that the eyes I caught staring weren’t a work of my imagination.

I wish that the reason you always sit behind me is because you want to be as close as possible or you want me to know that you exist.

I know I’m going to regret these words afterwards.

I guess part of me enjoys being fragile and exposed.

I really need to be loved. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced true love or any sort of love. That’s why I get attached so easily. To me, it’s a chance at love. The warm fuzzy feelings you get in your stomach. The smile that draws itself on your face simply by a thought. The safety you feel by merely a gaze.

I’m a hopeless romantic. I think in a poetic way. I imagine things that I know would never happen.

I’m fragile and exposed.

But at least-

I’m true

Stardust


Stardust

I crave the satiation

Of a wave so beautiful
Resonating against my ear
The notes he play
The strings he strike
Can bring me to my knees…

I need, with desperation,

A force so unbearable
To shatter me against
The stardust of his soul
Until I melt into one
A planet of raging storms

I melt into his darkness

The infinite space
The sun in the core
The life of my soul

He’ll strike me with meteors

Until I turn into a moon
I’ll orbit his space
And shine with my wounds