December 13

I hope I do this justice…

I was still a kid back then, back when you turned my world upside down.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I can’t explain how safe I felt that first night I slept in your arms. From the day I was born and until that moment, I rarely felt this safe… but you made it my reality, not a rarity.

I still remember the butterflies in my stomach when you kissed me for the first time. I remember so many details you’d think I’m a creep, but I guess a part of me knew that our moments together weren’t something I should forget anytime soon. Part of me knew that I would fall deeply in love with you. It was the first time I kept you a secret from everyone, even the people closest to me. I didn’t want anyone crashing into my bubble of happiness.

And 3 years later, that’s still the reality. You are my bubble of happiness, and I cherish every high as much as I cherish every low because it taught me something about myself, about you, and about us. I know I can be stubborn, but I’m learning more and more every day to keep my guard down with you, even when we argue, even when I’m right, and even when I’m wrong because you are not someone who is trying to hurt me. You are simply fighting for me, and I’m sorry that I forget that sometimes.

Even after reading so many novels, I still didn’t understand the meaning of “he makes me a better person” until I spent these years with you. You’ve opened my eyes to so many things, and you’ve made me stronger and braver than I ever was. You’ve taught me how to truly love someone fully and unconditionally.

Maybe this is me giving you reassurance because I know I can get blinded sometimes by my needs and past pains that swallow me whole. I sometimes forget… I forget that you need reassurance too. I forget that you need to be loved and heard too. I can’t promise you I won’t make that mistake again because I’m only human, but I promise you that I’ll try not to.

I’m writing this with tears in my eyes… it’s overwhelming sometimes how much I love you…

Thank you for dancing with me to Taylor Swift’s song. Thank you for being the first person to buy me flowers. Thank you for giving me your shirt to sleep in. Thank you for going with me to my first concert. Thank you for being selfless when I was selfish. Thank you for being your goofy self around me. Thank you for holding my hand and keeping it warm. Thank you for being worried about me. Thank you for including me in your family. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being honest and righteous. Thank you for fighting for me. Thank you for taking care of me.

And thank you for loving me.

Nel tuo sguardo crescerò,
Mi baci piano ed io torno ad esistere…

All I Want

Gallery (6)

Give me something real…

Not that dreamy look
Nor the empty promises
With the occasional tenderness

Give me something sweet…

A taste of your soft lips
A touch from your callused hands
And a glance from your hazel eyes

Give me a feeling…

Not love… definitely not love
Not another cycle of manipulation
And the inevitable broken promises

Give me your truth…

The real essence of your soul
The stripped version of you
And your exposed unfiltered thoughts

Give me all of that
Give me all I want
And I’ll give you my all

Skin and Soul

Skin and Soul

I remember the terror that filled me
The thoughts that raced through my head
You’re not perfect
You’re not what he wants
I never thought I was enough

I was ignorant
Always belittling myself
I didn’t know I was beautiful
Couldn’t see I was perfect in his eyes
I was more than enough

I was ready
For him, for this, for more
I wanted him to take me
To claim me as his possession
And become one

His lips reach out for mine
Setting my body aflame
His hands sneak under my shirt
Leaving my skin charred
Wherever his touch landed

He takes the fabric off my skin
And travels upwards to release my breasts
A gasp escapes my lips
He stares at me
With eyes that make me feel majestic

He kneels before me
To free my skin
Crashes through the barriers
Until I’m left exposed
Skin and soul
Deep within



Little did I know…
The things you saw in yourself
Little do you know…
The things I saw in you, in us
Scared you away and pushed us apart

It felt so right, so beautiful
That I never thought it’d go wrong
It felt so right, but so scary
Treading on thin ice
Till it sunk us deep

Little did I know…
The things you chose to see
Were the best things about me
Little do you know…
The things I chose to be
Left me vulnerable and dainty

I get this sinking feeling in my stomach
Every time I remember the first day
I force myself not to think too much about it
Not to think about caving against you
And enjoying the pure warmth of your heart

Little did I know…
The things you said to me
Would be the worst forms of kindness
Little do you know…
The things I wanted to be
Surpassed this reality

I hope every time it rains
The memories pour down
And you remember me

I hope every time the wind blows
You catch a hint of my scent
And you miss me

Little did I know…
The things we shared
Were the first step to heartbreak
Little do you know…
The things you said
Were inadequate for me to hate you

Little did we know…
We were handed a nebula
That was too extraordinary
For either of us to carry…