Apavarga

I’ll inscribe myself upon you skintight
Like a meteor crashing against the moon
Whether it’s wrong, whether it’s right
I might never know…

A constellation circulating a black hole
I found my stars flickering slightly
To distance myself and to distance my soul
Was the hardest part…

Trapped in a space warp, I saw a new galaxy
Rewired myself, reprogrammed my beliefs
As a rebirth of my soul filled the vacancy
I saw a potential within me…

I drift further towards the blurred boundaries
As stardust wraps itself around me
Love flourishes against my exposed fragilities
And fills them with beauty…

I’m grateful for that fate
Along which I’ve found my Shams
Soaring towards an open gate
I feel an ethereal energy liberating me…


Skin and Soul

I remember the terror that filled me
The thoughts that raced through my head
You’re not perfect
You’re not what he wants
I never thought I was enough

I was ignorant
Always belittling myself
I didn’t know I was beautiful
Couldn’t see I was perfect in his eyes
I was more than enough

I was ready
For him, for this, for more
I wanted him to take me
To claim me as his possession
And become one

His lips reach out for mine
Setting my body aflame
His hands sneak under my shirt
Leaving my skin charred
Wherever his touch landed

He takes the fabric off my skin
And travels upwards to release my breasts
A gasp escapes my lips
He stares at me
With eyes that make me feel majestic

He kneels before me
To free my skin
Crashes through the barriers
Until I’m left exposed
Skin and soul
Deep within


Solitude

I’ve been told to cherish my solitude, but I can’t do it. This isn’t solitude… This is rock-bottom loneliness. Emotional and physical loneliness. Solitude is a choice, and I don’t remember making that choice.

The solitude of your soul is messy. You’re disconnected from the universe, the stars, the planets, the energy, and every soul out there. Imagine this kind of loneliness.

Imagine being deprived of the universal energy and not have it flowing through you. I’m in solitude because I chose to follow a certain path that I believed to be right… because I was told it was best for me.

Why did I believe that?

I deprived myself of so much magnificence by being led along the “right” path. But that ends now. I choose not to believe in anything but love. I found love inside the deepest cavities of my soul, smothered by the solitude it’s been locked in. I found love, and I chose to release it.